There are times where it is very difficult for me to remain neutral at work. I recently got a tattoo of an inverted pentagram done. Besides the occasional glares from customers and curious coworkers, I haven’t been treated too terribly. This morning a woman looked at my tattoo, looked at me, then said, “You call in this storm?” It was kind of funny and we both laughed, and all I said was, “No, not this time; maybe next time though.” People assume I’m a witch, likely because of lack of familiarity with the symbol and what inverting it means. I do like to lay low, and I realize I called the attention to myself by getting something permanent marked on my skin. Even so, a coworker said something today that really bothered me when I laughed and said I wasn’t witch: she said, “Well, we think we know what you might be,” then gave me this strange look and walked away.
She hasn’t really treated me any differently, so it was kind of surprising, and it wasn’t so much the words, but how she said it. That and the fact that she tacked on the ‘we’, which confirms my suspicions that they gossip about me when I’m not around. I can only hope that it’s curiosity and not something else. I have tried to remain positive about work in respect to the people I work with, even though with my pessimistic nature I find it extremely difficult. I’d like to think I’m liked and not tolerated. I’d like to think that after knowing me for a year these people would realize I’m not some baby-sacrificing, virgin-blood-drinking psycho. I’d hope they’d recognize me as a boring, average person with some odd beliefs and get on with it. The one person I have finally started hanging out with after work is very religious and though she has her suspicions about me, she has never outright questioned me or said anything offensive. She has been nothing but accepting and nice to me, regardless of my strangeness.
There is hope when it comes to this. I think sometimes it’s just hard to see.
Yes, I am a Satanist. But not the kind you think. Gossip about me all you want, but you have no right to judge me. I’ll remember you when I’m fucking everyone over.