I finally quit. Full notice and all that. I’m strangely elated. It’s like climbing up a mountain weighed down by thousands of pounds, only to have it all lift away effortlessly when I got to the top. I’ve definitely come a long way from where I was; I am more capable than ever of leading some semblance of a normal existence. As much as I hate the hopelessness of being unemployed that has already begun to writhe somewhere in the back of my consciousness, that horrible, deadly anxiety has fled me.
I almost forgot what it was like to be free of the unbearable pain. I almost forgot what it was like to get up in the morning and no be so sick to my stomach that I have to lay down for a few minutes and brace myself before getting ready for work.
I am fucking free. And the best part of everything, is I finally realize it is all worth nothing. There is nothing to fear. I stood for what I wanted and didn’t relent. I didn’t crumble and go weak like I thought I would. The animal in me is so frighteningly sure, so confident that there is nothing that can touch me. I can make my own path, I just have to choose it.
I am without a master. Let those who scorn me feel what I felt tenfold. I wish them nothing but the purest, cruelest of suffering. Let their worlds fall down around them, crushing and destroying anything and everything that holds meaning to them.
Destruction will find you.