Abuse is better than concern. In the end, I am more grateful to the people that hurt me than the ones who took the time to treat me kindly. With kindness, there is no progress. With kindness, one is not forced to react, to fight, but instead is allowed to be complacent. Weaknesses that are already present become more pronounced as those skills are used less and less.
At times I have wondered if I’m attracted to the humiliation not because I am a deviant, but because the better part of me knows that being pushed into a corner is the only way this animal will stop acting so fucking domesticated.