I tried to break the mood, but in all truth, all I desire is a few blankets over me and hours of undisturbed rest. My emotions were so flat today that it was difficult to function. In the car I was silent, because the urge to speak was nonexistent. I went with others, but ended up wandering off into the woods with the dogs. I realized, walking over by that river and exploring that dilapidated cabin, that I found the company of the dogs to be more hospitable.
I never liked dogs. But even wet, barking and obnoxious, they made more sense to me. I just want this feeling to go away and leave me in peace. I feel like nothing can be touched; all is layered with a thick veil. I pull at it uselessly, but it’s net is so wide that despite all my tugging, the world remains shrouded in it.
Look, but don’t touch, they say. Perhaps that is where I am. I’m looking through my broken window, down to a place that holds no longing for me.