I tell myself again and again that I have meaning, that there is some grand purpose I’m going to fulfill that will make every miserable second entirely worth it. It seems foolish to put so much emphasis on one thing, but what else can there be?
The overwhelming hopelessness drowns me. I try to be optimistic for you, but my strength is waning. I can barely even hope for myself. Light always abandons. Even a sun doesn’t explode forever. I know it will come back to me on the tide. I will grit my teeth and wait. Even darkness is not everlasting.
Is it petty that I am jealous? Or would it please you, I wonder? I know it would please me.