So, guess who lost a condom? 

It’s that moment when you realize that if it’s not on the bed and not on him, then that only leaves one option. 

What’s worse is when you’re sore from two hours of fucking and it takes ten minutes to dig the fucker out, and you have to lay there, spread eagle and prone, waiting for your partner to figure out where the hell it went. And you also realize in your lazy stupor, that it wasn’t there for a long, long…long, long, long time… 

Now I have to go to planned parenthood and get a morning after pill. I just finished my period two days ago. Now it’s going to go on for another, very sore, painful month. 

Now children, this is why we should practice abstinence. But since we’re all heathens with no self control, we probably should all just be gay… 

Yes, I think we’ve found our solution. 


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