Everything hurts, all the time. I cancelled all my appointments for the week. I don’t want to leave, or put in effort. I’ve been in the same clothes for three days. I’ve barely moved. I thought about buying a bunny from the feedstore to take care of, but I’m worried I wouldn’t even be able to do that. I feel so hollow and lifeless, and every breath is a burden. I’m so irritable that the slightest sound makes me fly into a rage, and I don’t know why. Anger is something, I guess. It’s what got uncovered with all the dirty secrets. It’s there now, shining and obvious. I can’t hold it back anymore, and wouldn’t want to.
Life really is ending one second at a time. It’s hard to even write this, put anything into words, when it feels like nothing but apathy with sharp edges to cut myself on.