Not that you should be asking him for anything anyway. Too needy for my taste. Why should I ask someone to do something for me, if I know that it costs? Nothing comes without a price, without loyalty. There is no such thing as people giving to one another freely. They always get something out of it, some payoff. Maybe it isn’t openly apparent, but it is there, waiting to be discovered. We’re all selfish, and really, there’s nothing wrong with that. What bothers me is when people go to extraordinary lengths to conceal it.
Like God. He has a whole book telling you why you should follow him. No one ever asks, “Hey, what does God get out of it?” He gave us life, so we must pay him back? Is that the idea? Yes, well, he also gave us suffering, and pain, and hate. He hates. Read a hundred fucking pages and you can feel it, seeping from the pages like a poison. Hate’s good, but not when you spend your life trying to deny it, calling it evil, calling it dark. Hate is the brightest light in existence. There’s more hate than anything else. Embrace it. Love it.
I never asked him to live. I don’t owe him anything. I also never asked him to die for my “sins”. They aren’t sins to me, they are life sustaining activities. I’d have nothing else otherwise, because I sure the fuck am not going to bow down and lick someone’s boots. He died so that people would worship him. He died to become dictator of the world. And let us not forget he can come back again any time he pleases. It didn’t matter if hedied. He’s immortal after all. He can just impregnate some other virgin and start all over if he wants. I only get once. That cocksucker can just get killed off, and suddenly, “poof!”. He’s a martyr. Savior. Benevolent, selfless, you cannot apply those words to something like that. He’s just as human as the rest of us, with flaws and stupidity and biases, and most of all, a desire for power. Mr. Megalomania. Mr. Sadist. Mr. Fascist. Mr. Fucking Bigot.
People throw bible quotes in your face, tell you to look it up. Try to prove it with The Word. All you do is give me more fuel. More reason to hate it, hate the confines, this fucking little prison. I don’t hate the people, no, not like I used to. I just hate him, the hypocrite. The one who does it and gets away with it with a sickly yellow grin. People are always going to have ideas I hate, oh well. At least it gives me something to bitch about, right?
This is the way things are going to be. You will cry all alone, and it doesn’t mean a thing to him, to anyone. We’re all disposable and useless, yet we still live acting like we mean something. It’s just an excuse. Just a lie. We can’t even accept our own selfishness unless we coat it with something aesthetically appealing. Dress up that neat little pile of shit, make it look pretty, less self centered. Denial. Everyone is in constant denial.
You’re here for five minutes of pleasure, and a lifetime of pain. Take it or leave it.